a year from today, I was on my summer vacations, waking up around 10:00 am and my rutting was; eating breakfast, watching TV, playing with my dog, calling ”the guy” or going to where he was… nothing else was on my mind. I had it all sort out. I was on my junior year. I didn’t need to work, because I had a FULL scholarship!. I was on vacations. I was just having FUN…. but I was also falling in love… with Him. I HAD IT ALL!!
Now, I have to work from Monday to Saturday, I have to pay my bills, I live in a very small room on the city where I share the bathroom with 5 other people… I have to wake up at 5:00am every day to go to work. I’m not in college anymore, I have to work and save money to go to college maybe next year… I live alone. I lost everything… because, I fall in love… and the sad part is: He doesn’t feel the same for me, He never did, and He never will. but, I’m still in love with Him, I still spend my time and my money with Him…
he is everything I have… right now.
everybody else left me… and you know why? because everybody thinks I’m crazy, sick, mentally ill; just because I’m taking antidepressant and I see a psychiatrist. and because I wanted to kill myself… but who wouldn’t feel that way after going through so much pain and changes in so little time.
my best friend kept me from not hurting myself…. sometimes… just sometimes I regret not have done it…
